Chuck Norris Files

Facebook status, February 6, 5:30 PM:

Just now, from Miguel: Did you know that when you misspell "Chuck Norris" in Google, it doesn't correct the spelling? It says, "you have ten seconds to live.

Facebook status, February 7, 8:00 AM:

Last night, at bedtime...

Miguel: Chuck Norris used to work for the FBI.
Me (drowsy): Hnnh.
Miguel: He was their best negotiator.
Me: Yeah?
Miguel: All he had to do was say, "I'm Chuck Norris.

Facebook status, February 7, 8:02 AM:

This morning, over breakfast:

Miguel: One day Chuck Norris was hungry for a banana. He went to an apple tree. There was no banana. He said, "I'm Chuck Norris." And then a banana fell.

(This one was made up by Miguel. Given his track record, I say it's an original.)

This one's going into "Miguelisms"